Will Somalia Host Jihadipalooza

Will Somalia Host Jihadipalooza?

By: Rachel Marsden

Ethiopians were always best known to me as people who would apparently chow down on whatever botched dish my mom placed in front of me.

As in, "Kids in Ethiopia would kill for that burned toast, you little ingrate!"

But as of this week, as hungry as they may be, Ethiopians are showing us westerners how to effectively deal with Islamic extremists, by firing up their fighter jets and bombing the terrorists into submission.

Ethiopia, a Christian nation, is backing the secular government of neighbouring Somalia in its struggle against a Muslim extremist government takeover.

According to an Associated Press story, some self-declared subscribers to the religion of peace vowed earlier this month to lop off the heads of Somalis who won't get down and pray to Allah five times a day.

(Here in Canada, I remember being forced against my will to get down on a mat in a dark, quiet room a few times each day. In kindergarten. It was called "nap time.")

The BBC reports that during a banned World Cup soccer screening in central Somalia, these same beacons of peace kept the crowd under control by firing a few bullets into the revelers.

But really, who hasn't wanted to shoot soccer hooligans?

The best justification for outlawing World Cup games in the first place? Beer commercials. And an even better reason would have been that Shakira was scheduled to perform.

In any event, what are some of our fervent "peacenik" friends in the Muslim word angry about this time?

Could it be that the Jews managed to "steal" another piece of land, this time way over there in Africa?

(By the way, why is it that when these folks speak of the Jews taking "their" land, they talk as if Disneyland was already up and running on the property, when at the time it was mostly just a big pile of sand?)

In any event, were they fed up with imperialistic, interventionist infidels from America invading their country? Apparently not.

However, a spokesman for the Muslim extremists, Sheik Yusuf Indahaadde, called for foreign jihadists to come join the party (aka "holy war") and help establish full Koranic rule.

This must be the only time that I have ever agreed with an Islamic extremist.

I really do think that all the jihadists should get out of Iraq, Marseilles, London, etc. and head over to Somalia, right away.

Even if they can't get any weapons onto the flight over, they shouldn't worry. Surely, they'll be able to score some when they get there.

ARMS WILL BE SUPPLIED

According to a November 2006 United Nations report, terrorist sponsors like Iran, Hezbollah, Libya and Syria will keep them well-stocked -- because while the UN is telling us all these gory details, we all know that it's not going to do anything about them.

My cat has more ambition when it comes to clearing the birds out of our front yard. So get over there, please, Islamic terrorists, and join the Jihadipalooza!

Meanwhile, Ethiopia's prime minister claims he can easily drain this swamp in one to two weeks -- which might even be before someone has time to invent a conspiracy theory involving George Bush or Halliburton.

Personally, I'm waiting for the first Western leftists to come out and start denouncing the poor of Ethiopia, who can barely feed themselves.

But while Ethiopians may apparently hunger for some of my mom's home-scorched meals, I say right now, let's focus on giving them the kind of aid they really need: Ammo, intelligence, and weapons.

PUBLISHED: TORONTO SUN (December 29/06)