DC In A Tizzy Over Gay Sex

DC In A Tizzy Over Gay Sex: Republican Senator Insists He Did Nothing Wrong In Airport Men's Washroom

By: Rachel Marsden

Another sex scandal has erupted in Washington, D.C., and everyone's in a tizzy. I specifically use that word, "tizzy," because it might sound gay -- which seems to be the nature of Washington sex scandals nowadays.

Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho pleaded guilty to "disorderly conduct" in an airport washroom.

An undercover cop hiding in the adjacent cubicle reportedly caught Craig making "gay" hand and foot signals under the divider. (I thought Major League Baseball had those trademarked?)

Craig insists that he isn't gay. Good for you, Larry. But as a fellow conservative, I don't care if you're gay, were sexually misdirected, or took a wrong turn on the Horndog Highway.

In a picture on the senator's website, he's shown shaking hands with former president Ronald Reagan. Ironically, Reagan didn't care what consenting adults did, "so long as they don't do it in the streets and scare the horses." Sounds like Craig would have been wise to take that to heart. No one wants to see two men doing cubicle aerobics in the washroom.

I personally don't care who people have sex with -- as long as it's an adult, and not against anyone's will.

MORALITY

Frankly, I'm annoyed by conservatives who preach morality to others. I lump them in with liberals who browbeat people for not bringing their own recyclable canvas bags to the grocery store.

As Christophe Deloire explains in his book, Sexus Politicus, seduction equals political success in France -- and the juggling of relationships flows from that premise.

Here's how the phenomenon adapts to this side of the Atlantic:

"And the fact Giuliani had an affair while married suggests he is at best a multitasker, and at worst a jerk." (Rachel Marsden, Sun Media column, March 11, 2007)

"America is too consumed with Iraq. We've got to be patient and committed (in Iraq), but we've got to multi-task." (GOP presidential frontrunner Rudy Giuliani, USA Today, July 19, 2007)

But there are certainly limits. Take the Mark Foley case. The Republican congressman from Florida resigned after allegedly sending sexual instant messages to former male congressional pages. Aside from the fact that these were kids, he was fiddling with his computer (and God knows what else) at work while he was on the taxpayer's dime.

Former president Bill Clinton doesn't get a pass for the Monica Lewinsky case, either. But only because it didn't sound like he was getting much done while the intern worked aggressively on his "Fruit of the Loom" file. He also loses points for total lack of gamesmanship by going after some chick at the office when he was the most powerful man in the world.

The last big sex scandal in Washington involved a Capitol Hill madam who threatened to release the names of her clients -- some who were apparently high-profile. Who cares?

The only time anyone should fear embarrassment is if she threatens to release details pertaining to length of appointment.

GET A ROOM

Getting back to this latest case -- Craig's biggest crime was that he didn't get a hotel room. Given his $165,200US annual salary, he should have at least been able to spring for a Motel 6.

We've all been bored hanging around at airports, but few of us think, "I have two hours to kill before my flight leaves. That sucks. Hey! I think I'll go cruising for dudes in the john!"

Best to go browse the stores, buy a newspaper, and chill out with some Starbucks. That's what we little people do.

PUBLISHED: TORONTO SUN (September 2/07)