Iranian Fashion and the 'Scarlet Letter'

Iranian Fashion and the 'Scarlet Letter'

By: Rachel Marsden

Last week, a bogus National Post story suggested that Iran was seeking to impose "scarlet letter" clothing identifiers on non-Muslims.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper reacted by saying: "Unfortunately, we've seen enough already from the Iranian regime to suggest that it is very capable of this kind of action."

Harper's comments have caused such a tizzy that you'd think he had signed on to direct the The Da Vinci Code sequel. The man is simply stating the obvious: Iran is run by premium grade nuts. And I say it's time to get crackin'.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes that "the wave of the Islamic revolution will soon reach the entire world," and has peddled the old Ayatollah Khomeini line that Israel should be obliterated -- a sentiment echoed by the country's current Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

He's the new best buddy of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a Fidel Castro clone.

Khamenei wants to whip up enriched uranium -- not to make nuclear bombs, he claims, but strictly for "energy" purposes. Right. Just like the guys who only read Playboy for the "articles."

It's as though Steve O and the cast of Jackass were running an entire country.

As for Ahmadinejad, it's hard to tell if he's serious, stupid, or insane -- making it impossible to nail down a diplomatic strategy.

The Associated Press reports that Europe is thinking of giving a "light-water nuclear reactor" to Ahmadinejad, in hopes of distracting him from his atomic fiddling. Yeah, let's just offer him a really sharp pair of scissors and pray that he'll put down the knives.

According to the New York Times, the U.S. is considering a European based anti-missile shield to thwart a possible Iranian attack. Sounds like a lot of costly nonsense to cater to a single nut cluster.

President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair have a limited amount of time left to square this lot away. With no obvious GOP successor to Bush and Blair's heir apparent --touchy-feely, silver spoon Tory leader David Cameron -- striking me as the type of guy who would rather spend his time reorganizing the menu of the parliamentary cafeteria, it's pretty much now or never.

Besides, is there any lucid person left on the planet who hasn't had enough of this Ahmadinejad clown and his insane posse? Even the botched National Post "scarlet letter" story reveals a troubling truth. While the real "clothing bill" doesn't deal with the labelling of Jews or Christians, it does aim to dictate what women can wear.

Even diehard lefties like actor George Clooney ought to be all over this one.

They're not too keen on the idea of pre-empting potential threats to the West, as was the case with the Iraq invasion, but they do really seem to dig the idea of Western intervention in places like Darfur, where people are only killing or oppressing each other.

By Clooney's criteria for invasion, America should have already cleared off crime-ridden areas of Toronto, and totally leveled Hollywood, where conservatives are routinely oppressed and blacklisted.

Surely the idea of, say, Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman having to hit the red carpet at an international movie premiere in a head-to-toe black tablecloth, justifies breaking out the big guns on Iran.

If we could get Clooney, Hollywood, and the rest of the liberals on board, if only in the name of better fashion, then we're good to go.

They may be able to mess with the White House, but dammit, no one screws with the House of Versace.

PUBLISHED: TORONTO SUN (May 25/06)