Thanks to the EU for providing yet another illustration of why it should be disbanded. Over a million pounds, nine months and 900 pages later, the European chapter of the international paper-shuffling coalition comes up with a way to adequately spread the blame around for last year’s Russian invasion of a Georgian territory. Little Putin punches someone in the face, and the EU finds a way to put everyone in detention hall so he doesn’t feel singled out.

While debating this issue on French national TV in Paris this morning, the logic of one of my opponents (to paraphrase) went something like this: Georgia is a friend (with benefits) of the USA, so it’s really their fault they were mugged by the Russians. Guilt by association. Next time, don’t date a rich guy and you won’t be mugged. While some people are still busy playing “six degrees of George W Bush” while he’s probably pulling weeds on a ranch somewhere in Texas, I’ll make it really simple for everyone – especially for the professional complicators at the EU: Russia invaded a Georgian territory. Georgia has a right to defend itself. Period. The people who live in that land (South Ossetia) may ethnically identify more with Russians, but not a single international body recognized the outcome of a referendum a few years ago to declare its independence from Georgia. Hugo Chavez did, on his own – if that tells you anything about the cheerleaders.

But the EU recognizes that South Ossetia is still a part of Georgia, as do the UN and NATO. So it then follows that the EU must now also accept that Russia has no right to just waltz in with its military as it pleases. Because if the EU is now suggesting that countries can invade based on identification with the cultural majority, then I think Saudi Arabia has good reason to be sizing up France.

Take a similar, highly hypothetical case: Canada has a province full of French-speaking separatists who see themselves as linguistically and culturally different from the rest of the country’s Anglo majority. What if France decided one day to invade (giggle) Quebec and claim it as their own? Would an international body declare Canada to be at fault, at least in part, for standing in the way of a love match? This whole thing isn’t dissimilar to the Falklands War: culturally British islands belonging to Britain are invaded by Argentine imperialists trying to push their luck, so Thatcher fights to defend. This time around, South Ossetia is the Falklands, Russia is Argentina, and the Georgian president is about as well-loved as Thatcher was by the rest of the impotent internationalists. The international community likes capitalists who fight with their face. Nothing much has changed – the EU will always give communists and socialists the advantage because it keeps them in business. If people weren’t forced to depend so heavily on the government, then what need would there be for the Third Battalion of Desk Jockeys at the EU? They would all have to go out and get jobs producing or creating something. And who then would be around to rewrite history?